After attending two more games in the following week before he flew to LA for two weeks of games, both which Dorian’s team lost, and getting daily texts from Maurice saying, “what’s good,” and “what’s been going on with you,” I found myself sitting in a chair across from a highly lethargic potential buyer fumbling with my trembling fingers underneath the table.
The man’s hazels came to mine for the first time and I watched his settle on my neck and I cringed. I blinked my eyes several times and slowly brought my hand around my neck pretending to massage it instead of covering up the scar that was still there from a three-inch slash I got years back.
“If you’re going to do this, I’m thinking more along the lines of recycling and reusing. Lots of businesses have found great viability in doing this. It’s definitely the smartest road to take when looking at the way this economy is going these days. For this kind of small business to eventually grow into something bigger and open up more spots in different cities I---,”
“Are you saying all the time I’ve spent idealizing this carpet cleaning business has been a damn waste?”
He barked, cutting me off. I glared at him and felt my upper body temperature heat up. With Dorian on the edge of the opposite side of the continent, Tracy content with her estranged relationships with her women, Maurice constantly reminding me of how inadequate I had been in our annoyingly dysfunctional relationship in one-line messages courtesy of T-mobile, and this stocky and balding man sitting across from me with his hands folded on the table and a bored scowl present on his lips, I was forced to shift back to reality. I was on edge, thoughts surfacing from emotions that I thought I could manage.
Maurice’s texts stirred feelings that I struggled with everyday to fully step over. Yeah, I had gotten over that the connection we had shared once upon a time was over because even though I hadn’t realized it before, we hadn’t loved each other for the greater part of the two years that we were involved with each other. However, I battled with getting over the time and effort I gave him from me. It was one thing to put him in my past, but it was another to just forget him and the times we shared. I didn’t want to be with him, but I didn’t want to forget him. If I did, our relationship would have ultimately been a waste.
With Maurice I had never experienced that instantaneous he’s-such-a-nice-person-and-he’s-kinda-sexy-I-think-I-might-like-him that turns into oh-my-god-this-is-perfect-he’s-got-to-be-the-one feeling. When I first met him I was not attracted to him. I didn’t even want to know him. We met, hated each other, then craved each other through our hatred. We moved fast and started dying out at the end, losing form and distancing. We were the couple at the party that everyone stared at while we fought about who’s fault it was that the lights were left on in the car. We were sloppy, unconventional, and awkward, and what I want to fully grasp one day is what it was that kept us together for two years.
Now, since Dorian was that guy, the guy every woman wishes floats into her life when everything is going oh so wrong, I felt swamped with growing concerns. How could this be happening to me like this and so fast? How could something so scripted not be too good to be true? Business woman, Denise Ellis falls for youthful and eager NBA shooting guard, Dorian Pitts. It was very cliche and different from anything that I was used to and I let my past heartbreak, failed relationships, and odds control my outlook for us as a couple. I started making excuses at why it could never work and convincing myself that I was wasting my time. Subconsciously, I had started waiting for the waves to swallow me instead of enjoying what obviously was a blessing and something I had deserved.
Posts
